How the Gospel changes Parenting: 5 key questions to ask your kids
Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys that a Christian man can embark upon. As a father, there are many things that we want for our children: happiness, success, good health, good character, etc. However, it's essential to remember and stay focused on what our ultimate goal really is: to lead them to Jesus and to teach them to follow Him.
Today, we will explore how the gospel can help us understand how to parent our children, using Paul David Tripp's ideas for five questions to help our kids consider what's really going on when things get out of control.
5 Key Questions
For many Christians, the Gospel of Jesus is simply an introduction to salvation and then the hope of heaven later on when we die. But to think of it in these terms alone is to miss so much of what it can do.
The Gospel is the good news of Jesus. That he rescues us from our sin and bondage and has written our names in heaven where nothing on earth below or heaven above can alter or change it. That's incredible news! But as the infomercials are famous for saying, "But wait...there's more!".
Not only are we saved and rescued from judgment for our sins, but we are also empowered by him as he changes our hearts and makes us more like him. The Gospel transforms us and makes us into more of the man that God meant for us to be. By his mercy and love and grace we have been saved. Out of that overflows mercy, love, and grace to others.
In this case, to our children.
As such, the Gospel changes the way we parent when we start to treat our children the way that God in Christ has treated us. Therefore, when our kids screw up (newsflash: they will royally screw up and break your heart!), we have the Gospel to fall back on as our guide on how to parent.
You see, when you've royally screwed up and deserved punishment, shame, and guilt - you were given something different, something you didn't deserve. That is the backdrop to great parenting too! When your kids screw up and make mistakes we now approach them the way Jesus approaches us when we do the same to him.
Thus, every mistake your child makes becomes an opportunity to point them to Jesus and the incredible truth of the Gospel and to help them investigate their own hearts and minds.
Here's what author Paul David Tripp suggests we do - Ask these 5 questions:
"What are you thinking?"
Asking your child this question can help them articulate their thoughts and feelings. It can also help them identify any misunderstandings or false beliefs they may be holding onto. By listening to our child's thoughts, we can help them replace incorrect thinking with truth from God's Word.
This is what Jesus meant (at least in part) when he said, "...the truth will set you free!". Truth always frees us but its important that our kids (and we, ourselves) understand and can see the incorrect ideas as the same time.
"What did you do?"
Asking this question can help your child identify any sin they may have committed. As parents, we need to help our children understand that sin is a violation of God's law, and when we sin, we offend Him. We need to teach our children to confess their sins and ask for forgiveness, reminding them that Jesus is the only solution to our sin problem.
Teach your kids that confession is freedom, healing, and so good. Not a punishment, but a blessing.
"What were you feeling?"
Asking this question can help your child identify the emotions they were feeling when they sinned or faced a challenging situation. It's vital for our children to recognize that their emotions are God-given, but they can also lead them astray if not grounded in truth. We need to teach our children to bring their emotions to God, praying for His help to deal with them in a way that honors Him.
This is so critical - especially in today's world that teaches people to base your life on your feelings and emotions. "If it feels good - do it!". This terrible advice can be exposed for what it is in light of the truth.
"What was your motivation?"
This question can help your child identify the root cause of their actions. Were they seeking to please themselves or others, or were they motivated by a desire to please God? As parents, we need to teach our children to pursue a life of obedience to Christ, reminding them that true joy and lasting satisfaction are found in Him alone.
"What do you think God wants you to do?"
This last question can help your child understand that God has a plan and purpose for their lives. As parents, we need to teach our children to seek God's will for their lives, reminding them that following Jesus requires sacrifice and obedience. We need to encourage and equip our children to live for the glory of God, pointing them to the gospel as the source of all their hope and strength.
Parenting is hard, but it's also one of the greatest privileges and responsibilities that we have as Christian men. By using Paul David Tripp's five questions, we can help our children understand what's going on in their hearts and point them to Christ as the only solution to their deepest needs. Ultimately, our goal as Christian parents is to equip our children to live for the glory of God, trusting in the gospel of Jesus Christ every step of the way.
