5 Ways a Christian Single Can Keep Himself Pure in Dating
Dating can be a tricky topic for many Christians.
On one hand, dating can be a beautiful experience that leads to a fulfilling marriage. On the other hand, it can be a minefield of temptation and compromise that leads to regret and heartbreak.
For single Christian men (whatever the age or circumstance), it can be particularly challenging to navigate these waters while staying true to their faith and values. However, it is possible to date in a healthy and godly way.
Let's look at five ways that a Christian single can keep himself pure in dating.
1. Set Boundaries
One of the most important things a Christian single can do is set clear boundaries when it comes to dating. This may include physical boundaries, such as avoiding sexual activity, but it also includes emotional and spiritual boundaries, too.
This means setting limits on how much time and energy you spend with your date, how much personal information you share, and how involved you become in their life. It can be tempting to jump into a relationship with both feet, but taking time to set these boundaries upfront can help you avoid regrets down the road.
Before you start dating ask yourself and the woman you're interested in: "What boundaries are we setting in place?"
2. Seek Accountability
Another way to keep yourself pure in dating is to seek accountability from other Christian men. Find a trusted friend, mentor, or pastor who can check in with you regularly about your dating life. This person can help you stay on track with your boundaries, offer insight and advice, and pray for you during times of temptation.
Accountability is not about judgment or control, but about creating a support network that can help you stay true to your faith and values.
Here are 3 questions you should commit to being fully transparent about with a few trusted brothers in Christ:
1. How am I feeding myself spiritually?
2. How well am I giving and serving others?
3. How have I been feeding my flesh?
3. Focus on Friendship
While physical attraction and chemistry are certainly important in dating, they should not be the primary focus. Instead, focus on building a strong friendship with your date. This means taking time to get to know them as a person, finding common interests and values, and enjoying each other's company. By building a foundation of friendship, you can develop a deeper connection that is based on mutual respect and compatibility, rather than just physical attraction.
This point is more important than you may think at this stage. The foundation of a great (not just good) marriage is built on a genuine friendship and enjoyment of your spouse. Take your time here to make sure that this is in place and it will reap rewards for you for years to come.
Ask yourself these questions (and be brutally honest with yourself): "Do I really enjoy and love this person for who they are? Am I really just wanting companionship because I'm lonely or desperate for someone? Am I falling for her because I'm attracted to her beauty more than her character?"
4. Stay Connected to God
One of the most important ways to keep yourself pure in dating is to stay connected to God. This means making time for prayer, Bible study, and worship, even as you pursue your relationships.
When we are in a dating relationship, it can be easy to become distracted or to prioritize our partner over our faith. However, when we stay connected to God, we are better equipped to make healthy choices, resist temptation, and maintain our faith and values.
How are you doing at staying connected to God? Do not - by any means - pursue a relationship with a woman if your heart and mind is not fully devoted to God. Trouble is what you will find instead of his blessings, peace, and joy.
5. Be Honest and Authentic
Finally, one of the best ways to keep yourself pure in dating is to be honest and authentic with the person that you're pursuing. This means being clear about your values, expectations, and intentions from the beginning. As well as allowing her to do the same.
This also means being open and vulnerable about your struggles, flaws, and weaknesses in an appropriate way (i.e. don't say every single detail of your struggle, thought life, etc - it's not time for that yet and can bond you to someone before its time). Just be open and clear in order to honor this person you're interested in.
When we are honest and authentic, we create a foundation of trust and respect that can help us navigate the ups and downs of dating with integrity. When you build a relationship on that foundation, you'll never regret it.
As we know, dating as a Christian single can be challenging, but it is possible to stay pure while pursuing love and relationships with the opposite sex. By setting clear boundaries, seeking accountability, focusing on friendship, staying connected to God, and being honest and authentic, you can navigate the dating waters in a healthy and godly way.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to dating, but with prayer, discernment, and wise counsel, you can make choices that are in line with your faith and can lead you to a meaningful and fulfilling relationship that God blesses and uses.
