Every man's biggest question: Do I have what it takes?
Today's One Big Idea: Every man wrestles at some point with this question: Do I have what it takes? The good news is this: No! But Christ does...and Christ in you is enough. You are complete in him.
Listen to Podcast Episode #8 to hear more.
Let me tell you a story about my friend, Andy.
Andy Average is an average, Christian man. He's a nice guy who does nice things and lives in a nice home and has a nice family.
Andy goes to church every Sunday (or at least most Sundays). He pays his bills on time, loves his family, and seemingly doing "good", by all accounts.
But Andy knows something that most men know of their own story: He has settled in some ways. He's stopped going all-in for a bigger life. He knows he was made for more. Knows that Christ offers more. Knows that he's not having the impact that he could. Knows that time is running out.
But Andy is comfortable and cozy and he's settling into a life that is good, fine, and also less than it could be.
In short, Andy has stopped fighting.
What happened?
Like many young men, Andy got married, got his career going, started growing his family and started making more money. Along the way, he picked up some bad habits. He started drinking with the boys on the weekends and stopped working out because his back got sore and his scheduled filled up.
His wife gave him three beautiful children but she also gained a little weight and her body changed over time. He still loves her, but the girls at work started to seem more fun and started to look more attractive and his mind began to wander. To release some of the sexual frustration and energy he was feeling, he turned to pornography. He doesn't think its an addiction, but he turns to it more and more. As a result, he's always concerned about what will happen if his wife finds out. He also can't figure out why their sex life isn't what it used to be.
As Andy moved up in the workforce, his pressure grew too. He was happy for the extra vacation his family could afford and he liked the way his 401k was growing, but he is starting to wonder if it was worth it. He'd gained 30 pounds since his college days and he hates how his belly now hangs over his pants.
The Question
Andy started to question it all. How did he end up here? Where did things go wrong?
But the biggest question Andy wonders is this: Do I have what it takes to turn my life around?
That is Andy's question and it may be yours as well.
For so many men, we slowly creep away from the ideal life that we dreamed up as a young man and we find ourselves so far from where we wanted to go or thought we'd end up.
You see, we all will end up somewhere. The question is, will it be where you intended to go?
If not, we'll wind up wondering with Andy: Do I have what it takes to turn things around?
As Jackson Brown sang in his song The Pretender:
"Are you there?/Say a prayer for the pretender/who started out so young and strong/only to surrender"
That is where so many men end up too: pretending and surrendering.
Why? Because of 3 reasons:
1. Voices: Usually from our youth and often from our family, we hear the message that we're not strong enough, capable enough, able to do it, or capable on our own. These voices cripple us as men and many of us still don't even know it. So instead of recognizing the lies in these voices, men say instead, "Well, it's just the way I am." Maybe so. But it's definitely not the man that God meant for you to be - and we all know it.
2. Fear: We're afraid. We hate to say or admit it - but deep down, we wonder if we have what it takes to be the man that God meant for us to be and the biggest reason we wonder is because of fear. We're afraid to fail. Afraid we're not enough. Afraid of what people will say or think or do. So we just settle and pretend and surrender.
3. Doubt: What's at the center of the question, "Do I have what it takes?" - doubt. Deep down, we doubt we do. Why do you think the movies that make the most money are the ones where men rise up and do big things, take on great challenges, defeat the big, bad wolves, and surrender everything for the cause of something great? Because that's who we weren't to be. The sad thing is, most men just doubt it's in him.
So let me bring some Good News.
I hope this isn't groundbreaking news to you, but you DON'T have what it takes! I don't either.
The truth is, no man does.
Why is that good news? Because that truth allows us to be able to stop pretending. We don't have to keep acting like we do! We can be free to be broken, beaten up, fallen backwards dudes who need major help.
Now, for the even better news: In Christ you are complete.
You don't have to keep "trying" to be something you're not. You don't have it in you - unless you have HIM in you!
Are you a follower of Jesus? Have you surrendered (truly surrendered!) to him? If so, you've got everything you need in Christ to fight and win from here on out. You don't have to wonder if you have what it takes anymore!
You've got Jesus. And that is enough!
