Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: The Legacy Question
What story do you want to tell about your life?
What story/stories would you like others to tell about you?
These are incredible questions that Andy Stanley offers to us for consideration. He calls it The Legacy Question and for good reason.
When your life is no more and the only thing left are the stories told about you - what will they be?
This - for better or worse - is your legacy. It is what lasts when you're no longer around.
Stories
I've actually thought a lot about this question as God was prompting me to start my ministry called Get In The Fight. I spent a lot of time thinking, writing down ideas, and praying about this very question and it lead me to what we now use as our 4 Principles of Get In The Fight:
Honor - Discipline - Strength - Joy
When I was a kid, I was very focused on sports. I wanted to be remembered as the greatest athlete to ever come out of my school.
Today, I don't really care that much about that. In fact, it would be sad if that were the only stories told about me. Does that mean those stories don't matter? No, of course not. But when you're thinking about your legacy you want it to be much more meaningful than wins and loses.
For me, I hope that people tell stories of me that demonstrated that I was a man of HONOR. Stories that demonstrated that I was a man of integrity. That those who knew me best would say that I was honorable in private as well as in public. That I wasn't a phony. I hope that people will tell stories of how I kept my commitments and was loyal. I hope that people will know that I was committed fully to Christ and then my wife and family and friends.
I hope that people tell stories of me that demonstrated that I was a man of DISCIPLINE. I hope that there are things that come to mind that showed that I did the hard, right things over the easy wrong things. I hope they saw a man who did difficult things like asked for forgiveness, had tough conversations, took on tough tasks, worked extremely hard, served others like crazy, etc.
I hope that people tell stories of how I was a man of STRENGTH. I want people to have known me as a man that kept strong physically and in my health. I want them to have known me as strong in relationships, mental strength, emotional strength, and maybe especially spiritual strength. Not only that, but I hope that people will remember me as a man who was strong in all of these areas but that I used them to serve Christ's Kingdom and advance his cause by loving people well.
Lastly, I hope that my legacy includes stories of how I was a man of JOY. I hope that stories are told of how I lived my life to the fullest with lots of love, ambition, energy, a great attitude and perspective on life. I hope that they tell how I was consistently joyful and happy in all seasons of my life because I was grounded in Jesus and knew where my source of joy came from.
Decisions Not Intentions
That all sounds great, doesn't? I mean, who wouldn't want their legacy to full of stories like that. But as we've discussed in previous podcast episodes (like Episode #17), intentions don't matter a whole lot in the end. When it boils down to it, your legacy will be based on your decisions and actions - not your intentions.
Which means that we've got to learn to make better decisions. Which means that we've got to learn to ask ourselves better questions. Like Andy's Legacy Question:
What story do you want to tell?
If we were truly wise, we'd think in these terms. But that's hard for us to always do. Instead, we think of terms of the here-and-now. The present moment. What's right in front of us. When we do that, we lose sight of the big picture and the stories that will come from what we do in the moments.
It's in these moments that struggle so greatly because they are almost always fueled by deep emotions. The regrets that we can look back at were probably all fueled by an emotional decision that made in the moment that lead us to a place of great frustration, embarassement and guilt....later on.
So we've got to pause and learn to detach from our emotions better. We've got to be able to have enough spiritual, emotional, and mental strength to rise above the immediate
and make decisions with later on in mind.
That's the power of The Legacy Question. It helps us to reframe the decision with the later on in focus. Rather than reacting to the situation we're in with anger and blowing up and saying things we wish we'd never said - we decide to be slow to speak, slow to get angry, and quicker to listen to God's voice and our calmer voice as well.
Instead of making a big purchase that we know is not wise, we detach from the moment and give ourselves time to pray and seek counsel before we swipe our credit card or apply for the loan.
Instead of dating or marrying that girl that you know has some issues that could lead to trouble down the road, you process your decision-making through the lens of wisdom and legacy and story and make hard, right decisions that are truly best for you and them in the long run.
When you get the chance, stop and ask yourself The Legacy Question. As we mentioned in Podcast Episode #16, you've got to be honest with yourself and then do the hard, right things moment-to-moment, day-to-day. In the end, if you will see your life as just stories that will be told, you'll be able to look back and be proud of the legacy that you've left and stories that demonstrated that you lived the life that God meant for you to live. A life of Honor, Discipline, Strength, and Joy.
That's a story worth telling and story worth living!
