5 Ways to Build a Stronger Connection with Your Wife
Being married is awesome! But it doesn't come without its challenges.
One of the major challenges that married men face is communication with their wives. But we often start with the communication piece while ignoring the underlying connection. Communication is critical. But it can only be successful if there is a strong connection and intimacy first.
Unfortunately, many men struggle with building a deeper connection with their wives and then inaccurately diagnosis the problem as a communication problem. That may be true. But if you can improve the connection with your wife you'll likely find that the communication you have with her changes for the better too.
In this post, I’ll be sharing five practical ways to build a stronger connection and build deeper intimacy with your wife.
5 Keys To Stronger Connection
1. Show Affection:
This may seem like a given, but in many cases there's simply not a lot of affection that men show their wives unless they're hoping to have sex.
Women, however, (in general) are emotional creatures who are more likely to want to be intimate after they've had their emotional cup filled first. Men aren't wired that way. We connect easily and better when we're intimate with our wives and then we're more affectionate for awhile afterwards. But women aren't like us.
Thus, it's important to connect with your wife by showing her affection in both big and small ways as a regular part of your day/life. Simple things like a hug, a kiss, holding hands when out for a walk, or even a simple text while you're at work to just tell her you love her are all great ways to show your wife the affection she craves.
Whatever it is that she wants most, figure it out and show her more affection.
2. Spend quality time together:
In our busy world, finding quality time to spend with your wife can be super challenging, but it’s a crucial aspect of building a stronger connection.
What can you do? Schedule date nights, take walks, plan weekend getaways and make time for each other. Use this time to bond, catch up on each other’s lives, and create new memories.
Here's another one that may create a stronger connection: find time to be with her without your phones or other devices! In so many instances, these distractions derail connection and keep you from connecting better with your wife. So put them away and get away with her!
3. Show interest in her life:
It is crucial to take an interest in your wife's life beyond just being her husband.
Ask her about her passions, hobbies, and dreams. Show her that you value her as an individual and that her life matters to you. Encourage her to pursue her passions and be her biggest supporter.
As a financial advisor, I ask couples all the time what their hopes, dreams, and biggest goals are for the future. You'd think this would be easy and obvious. But most of the time it's not! In fact, in many/most situations, its the first time that the couple has talked about it out loud. Many times one spouse will look at the other with amazement and say something like, "Wow, I didn't know that was important to you."
If you want to truly and deeply connect with your wife, show interest in her. Treat her like you did when you first dated and wanted to know everything about her. Give her that kind of attention and you'll be rewarded with a stronger connection.
4. Serve each other:
You've heard it said: "The greatest among you will be your servant". Its true in your marriage as well!
Acts of service are a great way to build connection and intimacy in your marriage.
What can you do? Make an effort to do things that your wife would appreciate. Not sure what that would be? Ask her!
Help with household chores, cook dinner every once in a while, or pick up groceries. Small acts of service can go a long way towards showing that you care and value all that she does.
Here's the thing: your goal ought to be to out-serve her every day! Regardless of her response or reciprocation - your role as the man of the house and lead server of the home is to give 100% of you for the benefit of others (your wife in this case). Do this and your connection and communication will improve drastically and God will be pleased!
5. Grow spiritually together:
Building a strong connection with your wife also involves growing spiritually together.
What can you do? You be the one to make sure you attend church together. Don't let your wife be the one to make this a priority. Pray together and read the Bible together. Serve in a ministry together as a family. Do a devotional together or do it separately and then take 10 minutes after work to see what God spoke to each of you individually.
Whatever you do, be sure to make your faith a priority in your marriage and seek God’s guidance on how to love and serve each other better.
Ultimately, building a stronger connection and deeper intimacy with your wife requires effort, commitment, and communication. By putting these five tips into practice, you can create a strong, healthy, and loving marriage that stands the test of time and honors God.
